(Bawdy) Saturday Humor

“Give ’em number 1 Harry”

A new book out by Matthew Algeo, Harry Truman’s Excellent Adventure: The True Story of a Great American Road Trip, does an excellent job of showing readers a side of Truman that most Americans, then and now, never saw and, I think, will make  the man from Independence more appealing to the general public.

It’s about the road trip Truman took just a few months after leaving office in 1953 and details how the former President and his wife Bess, unescorted by any Secret Service agents or other securities measures, hit the road in the summer of that year to travel in his new Chrysler New Yorker from his home in Independence , Mo. to Washington and New York and then back.

A lot of the book uses aspects of Harry’s trip to give the history of the time along with interviews of some of the people who were witness to this trip nearly 59 years ago.  It also includes little known stories about the former President that show a side seen only by a few of his staff.

One doesn’t often view Truman with a bawdy sense of humor but one story in Algeo’s book dispels this notion. Truman of course was anything but passive regarding politics.  During the 1948 Presidential campaign while Truman was attacking the Republicans in a whistle-stop speech in St. Louis, one man yelled out, “give ‘em hell Harry”, Truman quickly responded that “I don’t give them Hell. I just tell the truth about them and they think it’s Hell.”

In his book, Alegro conveys Truman’s ability to delight in a bit of bawdy humor, showing too how he took his politics serious with a dollop of humor.  This account took place early in Truman’s administration following Roosevelt’s death as Harry traveled in the Presidential plane, nicknamed the Sacred Cow. Anyone familiar with Truman is well aware of the political friction between him and his political adversary, Ohio Republican Senator Robert Taft

DAYTON, Ohio — Douglas VC-54C “Sacred Cow” at the National Museum of the United States Air Force. (U.S. Air Force photo)

Duly alerted by [the plane’s pilot, Lt. Col Henry] Myers, that the Sacred Cow was flying over Ohio, Truman would walk aft to his lavatory.  Moments later, after the president had returned to his seat, Myers would get a presidential command over the intercom to activate the waste disposal system ….  The discharged liquids, of course, evaporated quickly in the cold, dry air outside.  But it was Truman’s way of having a private joke at {Taft’s expense], his political nemesis.

FROM THE NURSE’S LOUNGE

This came in an e-mail from the wife, a school nurse, which had been forwarded to her by another nurse.  This is but one of hundreds she has sent to me over the years.  Somehow bawdy sexual humor seems to emanate from this profession.

 

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet’s when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said, “So why are you here?”

The yellow Lab replied, “I’m a pisser. I pee on everything….the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I peed in the middle of my owner’s bed.” The black Lab said, “So what’s the vet going to do?” “Gonna cut my nuts off” came the reply from the yellow Lab. “They reckon it’ll calm me down.”

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked, “Why are you here?”The Black Lab said, “I’m a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I’m inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners’ couch.” “So what are they going to do to you?” the Yellow Lab inquired. “Looks like I’m losing my nuts too,” the dejected Black Lab said.

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, “Why are you here? “I’m a humper”, said the Great Dane. “I’ll hump anything.. I’ll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see.” Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn’t help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away.” The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, “So, it’s nuts off for you too, huh?
The Great Dane said, “No, apparently I’m here to get my nails clipped.”

FOR THE RECORD:  For people like Rick Santorum who associate “man on dog” sex with same sex marriage, please be advised this is lewd humor, NOT reality